by Brenda, Mama Be Good
I have about two minutes to myself today. And you guys know I’m not complaining – not really. I’m just cranky. I need more than two minutes. And I’m using hyperbole. I’m cranky and I have an infectious hyperbole, so get outta my way.
I need some time off. I wanna do some of this and some of that. I’d like to get my toenails back to that color. I’d like to clean out my refrigerator. I’d like to take a nap. And some cold medicine.
Also. The sleeping, I mean, not sleeping. Tossing, turning, not really sleeping, waking up. Seven years of sleeping like a baby will tell you why sleeping like a baby is NOT a good thing.
And the eating. You know how you think you’d just place some food in front of your child and tell him to eat? Or say eat or no dessert? Or if he doesn’t eat this time, that’s okay? Well, I’m still sitting down with my child every meal and feeding him. And I can’t say it’s okay if he doesn’t eat because he really wouldn’t. Ever.
Complaining about all this makes me feel guilty. I’m complaining because I feel cranky. That’s all.
Because I am lucky. I’m lucky to be at home all day with my child. I’m lucky I don’t have to work when most mamas have to. I’m lucky because being at home with me has been the best thing for my child. I’m lucky because I discovered unschooling. And it works.
I’m lucky I don’t have to worry about my son being bullied by classmates. That I don’t have to fight in IEP battles. That I’m not in a struggle with a school on a daily basis. That my son has the perfect learning environment.
I’m lucky that my husband and I agree perfectly about all this. That we both have the same vision and goals. That we both would rather live the way we do – old furniture, a house that creates its own dust – so that I can unschool our child.
I love knowing exactly what happens with my child throughout the day. That I’m the one who gets to see his mischievous smile, his twinklyeyes, hear his delighted laughter when he explores his favorite new interest. And that I’m the one who helps him when he’s upset.
Take a minute, Mama. Deep breath in. No, I mean deep. Deep breath out. Again.
I am lucky..
I am very lucky.
Brenda Rothman is a writer, public speaker, and political activist with a background in information technology, writing, and health law. She is a parent to a child diagnosed with autism. Brenda blogs at mamabegood.blogspot.com. She has written for The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, TPGA blog, and the Sensory Processing Disorder Blogger’s Network. Her essay about race and autism was featured by Denene Miller on My Brown Baby’s blog and Parenting.com‘s blog. She lives in Atlanta with her patient husband and brilliant, beautiful son Jack.
This essay was originally published HERE and was posted with permission.